The Feeling of All Souls’ Day
Fifteen-year-old Bram — who lost his older brother Gijs in a car accident two years earlier — did not want to add to his parents’ grief. So he did not talk about it with them, deeply sad as they were. Only in recent months has he begun to talk to his mother, who tells him: ‘You make me sadder by not talking about it than by talking about it.’
Bram collects everything of his brother’s, preferably as many tangible things as possible — even the wreckage of the car his brother died in.
Bram’s mother says: ‘The most adolescent thing about Bram’s grief is that he skipped adolescence altogether. He went from being a child of 13, at the time of the accident, straight to being an adult.’ Bram speaks regularly with grief therapist Tineke, who explains how he is trying, in his own way, to get a grip on the situation.
Anne, also 15, lost her father to suicide eighteen months earlier. Anne is more of a typical teenager, rebellious towards her mother and angry that this of all things had to happen to her. She is adamant that she does not want to be pitied. But a small gesture now and then — a teacher at school asking how she is doing — means a great deal to her. She once had a mentor who asked her nothing, and that stung. Now, thankfully, she has one who quietly makes clear that she understands. Anne also sees Tineke, and we follow her through a therapy session about anger.
This documentary was broadcast by KRO in 2007.
